I am in no mood.

I am in no mood.

Wow holy balls

I’ve been physically exhausted and riding on the whisper of my last bit of wind all week.
But everything just crashed, hard.
Like, all the feelings I pushed away all weekend for the sake of surviving and pulling through, just hit me at once, with interest. And I don’t even have the energy to begin to try to sort through them.
Adrenaline crashes are a real and terrible thing.

Holy hangover, Batman.

I still have three more days, I must persevere!

I’m starting to get really weepy and depressed because I’m spending most of SDCC with no friends and I’m sitting alone in my hotel room watching Thor and eating cheap Chinese fast food by myself.

But then again I’ve been awake since 5am Tuesday morning and I’ve had about three panic attacks in the past forty or so hours, so maybe probably I just need to sleep….

Today is SOOOO not the day for yet another goddamn UTI. I have to work but I’ve been bent over in pain and anxiety in the shower for the past hour and a half.


No sleep tonight.

I feel like every one of my SDCC costumes this year is a little on the wobbly side.
But I’m super okay with it.
Each new costume involved learning and applying techniques and materials, and equipment that were all completely new to me, and that I’ve been intimidated by for years. And I did it pretty much on my own, with only internet tutorials at my disposal and a handful of frantic text messages to a way more skilled friend after I massively fucked up or completely hit a block. So, they’re far from perfect, but whatever, we all start somewhere, and I’m happy that I pushed myself out of my crafting comfort zone.
I learned a lot about myself, my work ethic, and I learned a lot about cosplay in general.
I definitely feel like I leveled up!
It’s going to be a good con. :)

I’m not seam ripping it.
Fuck it all.
Yaya Han isn’t going to inspect my seams or my zippers, and ain’t nobody got time for that.

I FUCKING GODDAMN HATE ZIPPERS SO SO MUCH JESUS CHRIST I JUST WANT TO VELCRO ALL THE THINGS AND CALL IT A DAY

Ugghh my big wings won’t stay up, and honestly wearing them that size is basically begging for them to get bent and destroyed in the masses.
I’ll have to re-do my second little wing.
It still looks okay.
But ugh.
I just wish I’d known the second set wouldn’t work so I wouldn’t have wasted my time.

My dad just walked in the living room and saw me sitting at my table with spandex pinned to me while taking apart a pair of gloves.

He asked if I was okay. I think I just hissed and said “….comic con”