I’m officially registered for class and stuff!
I feel so old. I’ve been taking college classes since I was fourteen. You’d think I’d be done by now. Ugh.

But I’ll be taking contemporary theater appreciation and human sexuality! I’m actually really excited because both of those subjects actually interest me and my brain has been slowly turning to mush the past two or so years. Too much pixie dust and not enough actual thinking.

I had a photographer compare my judgmental eyebrow raise to Bette Davis. In my opinion that’s about the best compliment you can give a girl with chronic resting bitchface.

UGHHH college is expensive you guys.

BUTTONHOLE FEET ARE THE MOST FICKLE WORKS OF SATAN I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED.

LIKE ITS EITHER AMAZING BECAUSE SEWING BUTTONHOLES IS THE ACTUAL BANE OF MY EXISTENCE AND IT DOES EVERYTHING AUTOMATICALLY OR IT JUST RUINS YOUR WHOLE THING AND YOU WANT TO CRY A LOT.

Moral of the story is dude FUCK buttonholes.

For the makeup anon:
I use:
Olay moisturizer
Too Face primer
Laura Mercier concealer
Urban Decay liquid foundation
NYC eyebrow wax and pencil
Urban Decay’s Naked 2 palette is my usual go-to, but I have a huge Sephora one as well, and I use the odd drugstore color every now and then. I’m not picky about eyeshadow brands-as long as you use a primer on your lid, the color will stay!
Benefit’s Bella Bamba blush, They’re Real! Mascara and eyeliner
And my two favorite red lipsticks are Bobbi Brown’s Burnt Red and Smashbox’s Infared Matte
I also swear by Clinique’s Almost Lipstick in Black Honey for a nice tinted lip balm
Clinique also makes fantastic CC cream for days foundation is too heavy
I top everything off with a dusting of Make Up Forever setting powder, and if I know I’ll be in makeup for a long time I’ll also spritz some $3 ELF setting spray on top of everything else!


Most powders and eye stuff you can easily get for way cheaper at any drug store. The only thing I encourage splurging on is your foundation, because it’s all over your face and stuff. Keep in mind the same formulas won’t work for every skin type, and I’ve gone through four or five different brands to find one my skin likes, so play with it, or just get a ton of samples from your local makeup counter!
And always remember to wash all that shit off at the end of the day and for the love of all that is good in the world, MOISTURIZE.

Happy 45th anniversary, Haunted Mansion!
I can’t wait to go hang out with these two next month!

Okay so I expressed interest in a body painting casting call that pays a pretty penny, and they emailed me asking to send topless photos to see if I’m the right body type for the job.

I mean, they have a valid reason to ask, since body paint isn’t much more than pasties and chonies.

But my skeezy senses were tingling.
So now I don’t know.

This entire day is a study on the art of NOPE.

Oh god I am just the worst combination of Michael Scott, Chandler Bing, and Liz Lemon and I’m going to die alone.

I WANT TO BE GROOT.