And on tonight’s edition of “Reasons Wendy Never Replies to Anything”

And on tonight’s edition of “Reasons Wendy Never Replies to Anything”

I pincurled the top half of my head and the bottom half is dry and I’m too lazy to wet it again to finish.

My arms hurt.

And I should be doing other things.

But I should look decent tomorrow I guess?

I’m not too sure?

I hit 2000 followers on Instagram today! 
Follow me if you haven’t yet!

I hit 2000 followers on Instagram today!
Follow me if you haven’t yet!

What even.

What even.

As much fun as working in my jammies all day is, putting on a bra and doing my hair makes me like a million times more productive, yo.

I have to make a more conscious effort to frequently remind myself that I am loved, I have friends who care, and not everyone thinks I suck at life.

It’s so easy to get sucked into a void of depression, self-loathing and anxiety.

But at some point, I get tired of being such a fucking downer. I am such a lazy creature that I don’t even have enough emotional stamina to spare to feel anything negative for more than a few weeks before I realize how not worth my time it is.
It’s not that it stops hurting, it’s a dull toothache-y feeling in the pit of my stomach and behind a closed door in my heart. It’s what wakes me up at 3am in a cold sweat. It’s what makes me question everything before I let my guard down with anyone, which I seldom do anymore.

I’m going through a lot of changes. I don’t even know what the point of this post was. But I desperately want to re-focus my priorities and start setting my life on a different course. I’m going back to school, I’m taking a step back from cosplaying so much after this year, and I’m probably going to seek a second job so I can move out. I’ve always been so steadfastly resistant to change, especially once I carve out a comfortable nook for myself. But I’m sure it will ultimately be for the best. Life begins outside your comfort zone, right?

Today was…refreshing?
I don’t know. I feel better.

I forgot I had requested five days off next weekend for Anime Expo, when I only plan on going for one day. I guess now I have some time to really get down to business for Comic Con!

I swear if I hadn’t been going swing dancing 2-3 times a week for the past two months I would be like a million times more wound up and anxious. It’s the best possible thing I could have done for myself to (literally!) shake off some of my stress.

Also tonight like three people I’ve danced with before pointed out how I don’t suck as much anymore, so that’s encouraging!

I went for a run, listened to The Beatles, and pet an abnormally loving stray cat.

Later I’m getting my methmobile back, building myself a more permanent crafting corner to keep my new machines up and ready, and attempting to make myself a pair of wings.

This week seems far less bleak than the last one.